An amalgamation of thoughts
I am currently having one of those days were I have to leave the house in the afternoon, meaning I cannot do anything until then and must fully occupy my time by worrying about leaving the house. With a fun twist today! I'm picking up food for my family since I'll already be out.
Very exciting content overall. My life is kind of on pause for the next few days as I'm waiting to hear back from my doctor (I've spent the last month doing doctor visits only to have them tell me JUST before the holiday season that something my be *wrong* wrong). Good or bad outcome I'm getting my first major surgery probably within the next month.
It's all probably fine, given statistical evidence, but I feel like I'm repeatedly getting messages from the *cosmos* that it's worse than it appears. So my brain chooses to listen to that. As a diagnosed anxiety-haver, I am well equipped to deal with the fear of death, at least.
On the bright side, I had a breakthrough about my Top Secret Game Project today! I'm hoping I have more energy to work on it once I'm unpaused. My art portfolio has taken a back seat for me to have an existential quest, so I'd like to get on with it. So far it's only a very empty Unity scene, some 3D block outs, a character sculpt, and lots and lots of notes and vibes. The more limitations I impose on myself the easier it seems to be.
The ultimate limitation being I'm probably going to have to code a lot of it myself. And it's been a few years since I was doing baby's first coding lessons in school.
But how hard can dialogue and inventory systems be right??? 💀
My brain is telling me I should just do journalling instead of posting it. Having files saved on my computer or journals in my room with *top secret* info makes me too nervous, however. I also think I should try existing in a way that I'm not as scared of taking up space. I can take up space! I won't be tagging this though. Of course. I still don't know proper dreamwidth etiquette.
Very exciting content overall. My life is kind of on pause for the next few days as I'm waiting to hear back from my doctor (I've spent the last month doing doctor visits only to have them tell me JUST before the holiday season that something my be *wrong* wrong). Good or bad outcome I'm getting my first major surgery probably within the next month.
It's all probably fine, given statistical evidence, but I feel like I'm repeatedly getting messages from the *cosmos* that it's worse than it appears. So my brain chooses to listen to that. As a diagnosed anxiety-haver, I am well equipped to deal with the fear of death, at least.
On the bright side, I had a breakthrough about my Top Secret Game Project today! I'm hoping I have more energy to work on it once I'm unpaused. My art portfolio has taken a back seat for me to have an existential quest, so I'd like to get on with it. So far it's only a very empty Unity scene, some 3D block outs, a character sculpt, and lots and lots of notes and vibes. The more limitations I impose on myself the easier it seems to be.
The ultimate limitation being I'm probably going to have to code a lot of it myself. And it's been a few years since I was doing baby's first coding lessons in school.
But how hard can dialogue and inventory systems be right??? 💀
My brain is telling me I should just do journalling instead of posting it. Having files saved on my computer or journals in my room with *top secret* info makes me too nervous, however. I also think I should try existing in a way that I'm not as scared of taking up space. I can take up space! I won't be tagging this though. Of course. I still don't know proper dreamwidth etiquette.
